The warm coffee you set aside got cold. The bubbles you played with popped. The iced cubes you stirred melted. The stoplight you stared at turned green. The bad haircut you ranted about grew. The ones you thought would stay left.
I’m sorry to break it to you but some people, like Big Macs and fresh milk, have expiration too. As if we are not content with all the temporariness in the world, we become part of it.
Perhaps you’re a witness. Perhaps you’ve been stuck questioning some unsaid goodbyes because despite the fact that they’re gone, you can’t deny that they left a fraction of them in you. Perhaps they gave you the attention when you most needed it. Perhaps they sufficed what you thought you lack. Perhaps they made you feel secure. Perhaps at some point, they simply became your home.
What I aim to offer here is a realization of what is ultimately okay—that is, not everyone will stay. You have to learn that you cannot force people in your life. In the same way, you never want to be obliged to get stuck in someone else’s life out of your will. It is in accepting this ugly truth that you quit exerting time and effort in everyone’s favorite sports called clinging-onto-the-past. In turn, you commit to focus on those who stayed and have yet to stay.
You have to learn that you’re not supposed to rationalize why they left either. You are not to blame because you are enough. Let me repeat that: you are enough. I want to remind you that their choice does not reflect your worth. Walking away can be done even by the most beautiful people, and that includes you. You have the right to walk away from the questions, from the doubts, from the unknowns.
You have to learn that you are not required to come crawling back. In the same way you cannot force people, you cannot push yourself to people too. I invite you to zoom out, see the bigger picture, and save something for yourself. Get this: you are yet to discover more people in your lifetime that would willingly fill what you lost.
You have to learn to let go. Let go of the passerby who did not choose you, who tossed you aside, who made you smile for a while, who helped you grow. Only then you’ll learn to become your own home.
So allow me to say this again, a little louder this time for the people in the back:
NOT EVERYONE WILL STAY.
And that’s okay. You will be okay.
The writer just put into words everything that I feel as of the moment.
Thank you Sofia Onte for this piece, a beautiful reminder.